Today was productive but hard, leaving me feeling accomplished sad and exhausted. Getting things in order for my upcoming absence. Ruger got his first rabies vaccine. I took Peepster to his new home with John M's chickens. And bid goodbye to miss Mayberry. Her CAE test was positive and she has been growing increasingly uncomfortable so I chose the merciful and hard decision to let her go. Still reeling from the loss of my buck Spot last week, I can't help but feel that life is not quite fair. Tired. Tired of trying so hard to be strong, capable and efficient and only resulting in failure. I am backed against the wall and I have no choice but to fight and so I do. Still, I have this unnerving feeling that the greatest battle is waged against myself.