It seems like only yesterday I was packing my book bag and driving down the mountain, taking a leap of faith into the unknown. It was scary and there was a pretty good learning curve, but that was mostly in the social realm. At times I thought it would never end, but mostly it flew by, especially after I got in the groove and started enjoying learning new things. Challenging myself is where I find that I am happy. I drifted at first and learned some valuable life lessons. Mostly that mistakes can help you find your strength and make you a better person. I had to learn that I needed to do somethings for me, and that it's not selfish, it is necessary for balance. Mom had always told us that life is not fair, and while I had experienced some of that in different jobs it was reiterated in the college environment. But I also found that when you try there are a few people with power that will do everything they can to help you succeed. I've been reminded that I have my weaknesses, but I also have found strength I didn't know I was capable of. Strength in being alone, stronger still by the people that don't see my independent spirit as a flaw. The future is full of possibilities and I'm looking forward to what lies in store.
Friday, April 7, 2017
I have so many memories of helping with the laundry as a young child. We didnt have a dryer and I used to hate it when it was one of my chores. I'd dawdle and play with the cats stretching the limits on the time I was allowed to leave my schoolwork. Grandma Spaid always had laundry hanging on her line. She only used the dryer when it was absolutely necessary. She taught me how to fold precisely, creating neat stacks in the basket right off the line. After all there was no practical sense in handling it twice and it gave you a few more moments outside. When I moved into my first house the clothes line was a definite plus, but I only used it when I had time. Spending most of my time in the barn created alot of laundry that was easier to stick in the dryer. The second house I lived in had no dryer but due to its location in the sunny south I could dry 3-4 loads of laundry in a day. When I started looking for a place near college I realized that a small yard and a clothesline were high on my priority list. So when I discovered that this place had both, I was thrilled. I couldn't wait to hang my laundry out once winter passed. It's funny how what used to be such drudgery now brings me so much joy.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
To be honest I struggle. I struggle with being back in West Virginia. I struggle with living alone even though I am stubbornly independent. I struggle with always being the old one in my college groups. I struggle with paying my bills. I struggle with not being able to go to church because of those bills. I struggle because I know that we'll meaning people judge me even though I am doing the best I can. I struggle to keep a smile on my face. I remember being so happy, but I found out that happiness was not from being in a certain place. It stemmed from being true to my heart and the Christian values I was raised on. When I focused on me, my acheivement, my loneliness it created discontent and I would not have been happy in the best of circumstances. So in a way I am going back to my roots. I can't change alot of the situation but I can take joy from the small things. Focusing on the reason I am here and being my adventurous self regardless of what people think has made a difference. I am strong and independent, but I am also sensitive and the criticism gets to me more than you will ever see. But I smile when I remember that this is not their journey. They have made their choices I have to make mine.
Friday, February 17, 2017
As the semester goes on I grow more and more tense. Deadlines, tests and endless reading assignments bog me down. In the midst of the constant "gogogogogo" and hubbub of college drama, I find a little refuge in my welding class. I look forward to the monday night class achieve week. The friendly comraderie of the agriculture and forestry students helps me relax and in a way detox from the stress of the daily grind. This pleasant atmosphere lends much to the process of learning a productive skill, while having fun and practicing safety. In reality it is an art, a balance and a rhythm. Finding your inner balance steadies your hand and smoothes your work. The finished products show your progress as well as your strengths and weaknesses. We work together and help each other...we are similar to the metal we work with. We all have our rough spots and imperfections. But we build each other up and the principles we were raised on shine through. Humble, kind and stronger together.
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
For the past nine months to a year I have been very negligent with my blog posts. Not because there was a lack of things to write about but because I got busy with living. You know, the daily hum-drum of the things necessary for function in society. In August I took a step of faith, (it felt more like a cliff lol) and started the journey to obtain a degree in Agriculture Education. Potomac State College is a rather small campus, but it was an excellent place to begin my studies. I experienced a few rough patches but managed to finish the semester with a 3.70 GPA. Christmas break flew by working and painting for the Bachtels. Christmas was fun and busy with our rapidly changing family. Levi is a little entertainer just like his daddy. New year's day found Isaiah and I once again ministering in Sucre, Bolivia. My heart and calling were refreshed and when I got the news that my boyfriend had moved on with his life I was some how able to say "THY WILL BE DONE". When you know God's got his hand on you it helps your perspective even when your emotions are a wreck. This semester has had its ups and downs but having my own quiet little apartment in downtown Keyser helps. What Eric told me is still true...I am good at picking places to have a hermitage. Lol. It may very well be a hermitage and I may have some stray kitty friends that frequent my door step, but that too is part of my story and the everyday things need talked about sometimes too.